Six steps to building resilience with chronic illness

When I tell my story I’m always told I have a lot of reliance but I didn’t know what it means. After some research, I found the six steps to building resilience.

Defining resilience.

Resilience is adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, or threats. Sources of stress range from family, relationship problems, serious health problems, and in the workplace and financial problems. ( Hurley, 2020). Those with resilience have acceptance, purpose, flexibility, positivity, and self-awareness as traits. Resilience can be learned.

Self Management

An example of a stressor is being diagnosed with chronic illness. In this situation, resilience is shown by learning ways of managing the illness, instead of thinking you’re never going to be happy again. Research has shown that holding a “positive illness perception predicted better well-being” (Dwilson, 2017).

Love and accept yourself

Loving and accepting yourself means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love includes fueling your body with the right foods and getting plenty of rest. Pushing your body too far has consequences for your health. Having a manageable routine improves mental health and more time to chill. Having a bedtime routine encourages slow-wave sleep which makes you wake up refreshed. It’s important to spend time with those who bring love and acceptance into your world. Spending time with loved ones is essential for overall well-being.

Another way is writing in a journal which is beneficial for self-awareness, teaching you to love and accept yourself. Writing helps to process frustrating thoughts in a healthy way. Slowing down allows you to take time to process a mindset that it’s okay to take time out and accept that it’ll take longer to finish a task. Listening to your body is important, and knowing and acknowledging what your personal needs are, such as resting your body, praying or meditating.

Go slow

Be intentional about giving yourself at least 5 minutes a day to go slow, feel your mind, and body, and let it rest. Meditate, pray, or do something that makes you happy. Identify your feelings. Sit in your grief process and respect where your body is. Remember your body deserves kindness. Ask yourself “What does my new normal look like?” Just 5 minutes a day will make a huge difference to being in tune with yourself. I struggle still to tell myself that it’s okay to listen to my body, when it’s tired I know to rest, it’s a telltale sign that I will have a seizure if I don’t rest.

Practice gratitude!

Gratitude refers to a ‘state of being grateful. Gratitude builds resilience by helping us to see the positive things in life. (Chowdhury, 2022). By practising gratitude every day, we can create a permanent grateful and positive nature within ourselves which builds our inner strength to combat stress. Think about something or someone that you’re thankful for. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have people who visit you when you are unwell? Thank those around you who are supporting you When you are having a flare it’s much harder to be grateful in the midst of the pain however, it can help you feel motivated.

Create your sense of belonging

“A sense of belonging is crucial to our life satisfaction, happiness, mental and physical health and even longevity (Boardman, 2020). Research shows that not having a sense of belonging is associated with stress, illness, decreased well-being and depression. A sense of belonging reflects self-acceptance and self-awareness, which are traits of resilience. For some, belonging requires you to go out of your comfort zone and find people. One way to work on your sense of belonging is to look for ways you are similar to others, rather than focusing on ways you are different. Finding your sense of belonging means you accept each other for who you are.

Find your purpose

We define our own purpose. “Purpose is essential to resilience which influences one’s ability to adapt positively, learn and grow from experiences, and keep going toward our goals.” (Wagnild, n.d). It’s tricky to find a purpose that is sustainable with chronic illness but, I asked Lupus and fibromyalgia groups online what they believed was their purpose, and many stated that they live by one day at a time and “become healthy again.”

How to find your purpose

• Growth mindset: Life is about reaching goals. Once one goal is completed you choose another. This helps to identify your purpose and be able to see challenges as opportunities. Stay determined in spite of failure. Accept feedback and constructive criticism

• Create a personal vision statement: a vision statement helps manage stress. Use your vision statement as a reminder of your purpose. Make decisions aligned to values and aspirations which help you stay motivated.

• Helping Others: Helping others gives you a sense of meaning and purpose in life. Happiness can be felt by both yourself and the one you are helping.

• Turn your pain into purpose: We all face challenging times where we learn resilience through our own strengths and perspectives. We can spread positivity to those who need support. Write a book and share your story which inspires others to stay strong and overcome their challenges. How you transform pain into purpose is up to you! I chose to write my own book My Beautiful Trauma Link to my book

• Explore Passions: Think about what gives you life. The things that make you feel excited. You may have many passions but consider what is best for your mental health. I love writing and sewing. When I’m writing something, I learn new things which I love which motivates me to learn more about the topic, and reading other blogs inspires me to write the best that I can. Sewing has become my hobby. I’ve just enrolled in a fashion and design course!

Join a cause: We all have a cause we are passionate about. You may strongly feel about health, social justice or spreading awareness about chronic illness. I am passionate about spreading awareness for lupus, fibromyalgia and stroke. The awareness month is May and the colour is purple I named my not-for-profit,