Adoption, Attachment and Chronic Illness

Attachment is crucial for a child's healthy development, and if an attachment has not been established in infancy it causes slow brain development, attachment disorder and chronic illness. My story begins in 1990 at the end of Ceausescu’s reign. This Romanian dictator took the population's money for himself, forcing young girls to sell themselves as prostitutes in order for the family to survive and I was the result of this. The first 8 months of my life were spent in an overcrowded, understaffed orphanage, being left to cry/scream and sit in my own shit for the day.

After 8 Months I was adopted by a New Zealander but was raised in a highly abusive and stressful family. To read more head to georgiana.nz

The Attachment Theory

The Attachment theory describes how an infant attaches to their primary caregiver and how early attachment affects development. John Bowlby, a researcher of the Attachment theory, documented the detrimental effects of orphanages, noting affectionless characteristics, and anti-social behaviour because the children had only their biological needs such as food, and shelter. The orphan's social needs, such as their relationships, love and a sense of belonging were not.

Attachment and Chronic Illness

Due to the trauma of not developing an early attachment to a primary love object (caregiver) most children will experience learning disabilities, mental illness, unexplained medical symptoms and autoimmune diseases. Unexplained medical symptoms include headaches, fatigue and abdominal pain which vary in severity and may result in chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome and fibromyalgia. Physical and psychological stress may cause chronic illness therefore, certain conditions are triggered by an inflammatory response, such as a gut infection, which then develops into irritable bowel syndrome or Crohn's disease. The role of the immune system is to distinguish between the body and harmful antibodies to attack and protect the body l harmful antigens. If the immune system mistakes the body for harmful antibodies, it is the basis of autoimmune disorders.

An example of this is my life. My life began without a primary love object to establish a healthy attachment style, my childhood was full of abuse, and at the age of 11, I was diagnosed with Lupus.

Trauma and Attachment

Because of the early trauma experienced, brain development is delayed which disturbs mental functioning and affects relationships over a lifetime. Healthy early attachment enables emotional connectedness, the ability to build safe and secure connections, and the establishment of positive self-esteem. Adopted children with attachment disorder tend to establish intimate and sometimes overly devout or promiscuous relations with other adults while constantly pushing away their primary caregiver. High levels of physical abuse and neglect, emotional abuse and neglect, and sexual abuse subdimensions of childhood trauma may develop into unhealthy types of attachment.

Attachment styles

Attachment styles can change. If an adoptee develops a relationship that is secure with emotional closeness and stability, the side effects of attachment neglect may be reversed.

• Anxious- ambivalent

This type of attachment style is often associated with an inconsistent parenting pattern. Sometimes, the parents will be supportive and responsive to the child’s needs and at other times, they will ignore the child. This inconsistency might make it difficult for the child to understand the parents’ behaviour and what kind of response to expect in the future. The child might end up confused about his or her relationship with the caregivers, whose behaviour sends mixed signals. Individuals with an anxious attachment style are sensitive and attuned to their partners’ needs. However, they are often insecure and anxious about their own worth in a relationship and need reassurance that they are worthy, accepted and loved in relationships.

• Insecure

May tend to become needy or clingy in their closest relationships, behave in selfish or manipulative ways when feeling vulnerable, or simply shy away from intimacy altogether. They may also show unpredictable or inconsistent behaviour towards loved ones.

Insecure attachment develops when an infant or young child has a parent or caregiver who is consistently emotionally unavailable or unresponsive to their needs. Infants with an avoidant attachment style may also have faced repeated discouragement from crying or expressing outward emotion

• Anxious-avoidant

Parents who are strict and emotionally distant, do not tolerate the expression of feelings, and expect their child to be independent and tough might raise children with an avoidant attachment style.

As adults, these children appear confident and self-sufficient. They do not tolerate emotional or physical intimacy and might not be able to build healthy relationships. What’s more, in the workplace, they are often seen as independent, ‘lone wolf. It is, however, possible for these individuals to change and develop a secure attachment style.

• Disorganised

The most difficult type of attachment is the disorganized attachment style. It is often seen in people who have been physically, verbally, or sexually abused in their childhood and are afraid of their caregivers.

In adulthood, people with this attachment style are extremely inconsistent in their behaviour and have a hard time trusting others. These individuals could also suffer from other mental health issues, such as substance abuse, depression, or borderline personality disorder. This attachment style can be changed with proper treatment, although the process might be challenging.

I think my attachment style would be disorganised because I struggle to develop relationships, especially with authoritarian figures and my childhood was traumatic and I was left to fend for myself.